i havnt been more wasted in my lyf eva...wasted as in not stoned ;) but obscenely free..ive been watching movie after movie after mvie...and when i get caught in days lyk dese, i end up duin the most stupid things eva..
i was browing through the videos on my phone, watching rihanna ova and ova and ova again,, and i came across this video id shooted a month bak..i wasn very sure if id want to see tha...nostalgia gets to me real fast..strangely i watched it, id shooted it on the las day of the sports meet, wen we'd gone to catch a snack in kfc tha evenin'..i thot id succumb completely on watchn this, and dial dem bak to b frnds again, but i really din feel tha way...i kinda despised dem more everytym i luked at them...for mellowin me dwn as an individual, for makin me the one who talks than the one whos bein toked bout , for changin me from the person id once been. and thats wen it stuck me, i remember my english teacher in class 10th once calling me "a sadist" , a guy who doesnt know the word "humility" ,someone who neva " acknowledges what others give him, and pushes dem dwn the bus before they even realise tha". thats unfair. for all i know im honest, and vocal, vocal about the way i feel about any1, thats 'honest' to me, and being honest, ladies and gentlemen, is no vice.
15 mins hence, i was bak to sulkin coz of the arse whos gonna make it big. yes, i am still not ova it. for all i know, ive been subconciously thinkin of elaborate plans to throw him ova the popularity charts. and i came up wid yet another today. i thot id work my arse off tynna get another pretty gal from colg who absolutely hates the gal hes gonna go out wid coz she allegedly stole her lingerie , and once i do tha, i hate him and she hates her, and we'd make frequent use to PDA to steal their thunder , yes! that does sound lyk the most arse-lickin plans of all tymes, not missin haw improbable it is,, but then i was feelin all tipsy in the heat this afternoon...and it sounded so fool-proof in my mind....thats wen i stepped outta the situation and realised haw sad a person i am....and haw desperately i needta get a lyf of mah own :)